


Candy Canes and How to Misuse Them

by Saraste



Series: FICMAS 2020 [20]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Play, Christmas Smut, Ficmas, Inadvisable use of candy canes, M/M, Nori is a Little Shit, Topping from the Bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:22:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28407675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saraste/pseuds/Saraste
Summary: Dwalin had thought their drunken candy cane romp had been the start of a new tradition for the two of them... but was it?
Relationships: Dwalin/Nori (Tolkien)
Series: FICMAS 2020 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034025
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: candy canes by meltyylipd @ Twitter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Day and Nori has a proposition.

It had started the previous Christmas. They had been drunk on eggnog and high on each other and Nori had purchased an overabundance of candy canes, or they had been left over from the tree, or… Dwalin couldn't quite remember. What he did, however, was Nori on his back on their bed, spreading himself open on quickly slicked up fingers and daring him to try and see how many candy canes could fit inside his ass.

If he’d been less drunk then he possibly might not have done it, but common sense had not been his priority at the time and Nori had been so enticingly insistent.

They had both been surprised how many candy canes had fit into Nori.

Dwalin had eaten him out afterward and his tongue had been tingling with the lingering taste of the peppermint, which Nori said left an “interesting” tingling inside. He had claimed to have been tingling still the next morning and had exhorted Dwalin to check, but all he'd tasted like was soap and himself and possibly the tiniest hint of peppermint. Making sure had been such a hardship.

*

There were no candy canes this year, not even on their tree. 

Dwalin felt an odd sense of disappointment, even when the previous years’ experience had been born out of excessive inebriation, although not so much that he didn't still remember Nori's drunken giggling and demanding for pictures and 'just one more' and how he'd demanded Dwalin take them out one by one, slowly, and then eat him out.

He still had the pictures. And a short video of Nori stuffed full of red striped candy canes, looking back at the camera over his shoulder and winking.

It was absolutely not in his wank material folder.

*

On this Christmas morning, Dwalin woke to Nori draped all over him and kissing him with minty-fresh breath.

'Merry Christmas,' Nori said against his lips once he was done, his voice breathless and tone smug.

He was not at all sleep-soft or rumpled, but clearly fresh from the shower, hair up in a messy, slightly damp bun dripping a little water onto Dwalin’s bare chest, bare because Nori’s clever fingers had made quick work of opening the front of his flannel pyjama shirt without him even quite noticing him doing so.

‘Merry Christmas…’

Nori was deliciously and completely naked, shower-flushed, spread along Dwalin’s body.

Dwalin’s hands had apparently found their way onto his hips completely out of their own accord, which was a very good place for them to be.

‘I have plans,’ Nori announced, doing absolutely nothing to make that happen, continuing to perch atop Dwalin’s lap, over his morning wood still woefully covered with flannel, which was a crime against anything that was right and a tactical error in Nori’s plans in Dwalin’s horny opinion.

Dwalin thrummed his fingers against Nori’s naked butt, having _somehow_ shifted down from his hips. Really, he had not made a conscious thought, his hands just had a way of settling on just the right place on Nori’s body. ‘What sort of plans?’

‘Trust me, you’ll like them, they involve my ass and… things going in it.’

Dwalin’s hands grabbed said ass so tight that his fingertips dented the skin, possibly leaving marks, which Nori didn’t seem mind one bit. He always delighted in Dwalin marking his pale, freckled skin, moaning and gasping as Dwalin did it, squirming as Dwalin touched those spots later on, when they were tender and aching, blossoming in all shades of bruising, often even asking for them, for Dwalin to hold him so tight it showed.

‘I like plans involving your ass, you know.’

‘Oh, do you?’ Nori put a hand on his cheek, leaving his perfectly kissable and kiss-reddened mouth open in an o of surprise for a moment. ‘I never knew!’ His eyes were laughing.

Dwalin gripped him harder. ‘Is that so?’ He swallowed and then grimaced a little. ‘Am I allowed to wash my teeth first?’

Nori smacked his lips. ‘That’s permissible. Better you wash before… breakfast.’ He winked, not at all subtle.

There was some groping and fumbling as Dwalin got up from the bed, leaving behind a wonderfully tempting naked Nori draped across the crisp sheets they’d just changed the evening prior, the wide smile on his face promising delightful and wickedly depraved things.

With Nori, everything was always depraved, but Dwalin wouldn’t have him any other way.

Dwalin took a quick shower after brushing his teeth, imagining what Nori might be planning, or doing, while he waited. Nori’s hands were never completely idle, especially when he was naked.

He shouldn’t have even bothered with the towel he had wrapped around his waist, but didn’t want to have to deal with any dripping after they were finished.

‘You took your time,’ Nori commented, voice lazy and rough, sounding and looking like he had not been idle at all, but quite busy as he’d waited.

‘Sorry,’ Dwalin drawled, voice slow and eyes admiringly drinking in the display before him, ‘you could have let me do that,’ he admonished, looking at the fingers still inside Nori’s hole, stretching him open.

Nori chuckled. ‘Sorry, might have gotten a little carried away there.’

Dwalin dropped his towel and stood beside the bed, naked and rock-hard.

‘Oh, you saved that for me, how nice…’ Nori all but purred.

To crawl over the bed to him and kiss him soundly was achieved in a moment and Dwalin loved the pliancy of Nori under him, and then the way Nori easily flipped them over, so he could sit atop him with the swell of his ass just cradling his hard cock. He made a desperate noise as Nori settled a little more snugly against him, feeling the sloppy slickness of him against the base of his cock.

‘Right, maybe we’ll improvise, then,’ Nori said, rocking against him a little, ‘as I’d love to have _that_ inside me right about now.’

Dwalin rocked with him, the movement of Nori’s ass dragging along his length could be enough, but he didn’t want it to be. ‘What about you plans?’

‘There’s always later today and Boxing day.’

‘But what would everybody say if they knew what we were thinking all through Christmas dinner?’ Dwalin asked, short of breath, squirming under Nori’s shifting.

Nori pressed down against him. ‘As if they don’t already _know_ what I’m thinking about most of the time.’

‘Yes, you, but not me.’ Dwalin let his hands move to find and press into the lube-slick hole waiting to have him, not to be had by him, as this was clearly Nori’s show despite who penetrated who. Dwalin was glad that his husband simply relished it, that Dwalin liked it so when Nori took charge.

He felt Nori’s chuckle as his whole body bounced, a delightful jiggle that did things to him. ‘Believe me, _everybody knows_ , you’re not exactly subtle when you look at me and think about sex. Your face!’

Dwalin pressed his fingers against the slick, stretched rim. ‘What about my face?’

‘You,’ Nori said, pressing his body closer to Dwalin’s questing fingers, ‘are not subtle, my dearest.’

‘I am.’

‘You say it so convincingly with our fingers inching to get inside me to see if I’m stretched enough, which I _am_ , I’ll have you know.’

And dripping with it, Dwalin came to note as two of his fingers finally slipped in to the first knuckle, easy as anything. He made a sound and then remembered he should be offering indignant rebuke. ‘You cannot claim I’m as transparent out of the bedroom as I’m in it.’

Nori moaned a little, shifting his body to take Dwalin’s fingers deeper. ‘Weeeell…’ he drawled.

‘I am not.’

‘Hm, we’ll agree to disagree on that, yeah? But now, how about we shift so I can get that beautiful cock of yours inside me and get a good Christmas morning pounding?’

His fingers stilled. ‘Thought you were going to ride me?’

‘Feeling lazy, are we? Don’t fret,’ Nori shifted so Dwalin’s fingers slipped out of him and reached beside him on the bed. ‘Where the fuck is the thrice-damned lube?’

They spent a feverish moment groping about on the bed, during which Nori didn’t shift from his position atop Dwalin much, which was more a hindrance than anything. He did end up finding the lube with a crow of triumph and wasted no time in all but slathering Dwalin’s cock with it.

Being inside of Nori was one of the great joys of Dwalin’s life. Despite their urgency, the need to just fuck and come, shaking and sobbing with it, they took it slow at the beginning. Nori sat in Dwalin’s lap, keeping his cock snug and warm as they embraced and kissed sweetly and for a long while. They ended up with Nori’s forehead pressed to his, which was more intimate than kissing somehow.

‘What if we do it soft like this?’ Nori said, his amazement-inducing, seemingly boneless and restriction free body moving upon Dwalin’s like he had no restraints at all with the way he shifted, sinuous and utterly sinful.

They both shudder and groaned as he squeezed his body around Dwalin’s. His body was slick and wanting, hungry, _perfect_.

‘Soft…’

‘We can have hard and fast later,’ Nori whispered against his ear, his body, his hands, his everything gripping Dwalin tight, ‘and I can show you what I had planned.’

Can’t… can’t you tell now.’

‘Anticipation… ah… is half the pleasure.’

There was pleasure enough here, their bodies moving together slow and tender, a sweetness not expected at the start, but quickly building to a gasping crescendo as climax came, shuddering.

For Dwalin, that was.

Nori pressed him onto his back and rode him hard, gasping and cursing, finding his pleasure in the girth of him, the look on his face of utter bliss, post-coital and of enjoyment of the sight of Nori so without reserve, so relentless.

Soon enough, Nori came with a curse of Dwalin’s name, squeezing around him, covering his stomach with his come. He sat there, impaled, hands on Dwalin’s stomach, smearing the come, and head hung low, panting.

‘Oh, I made a mess, how awful,’ he said, eventually, especially when he raised his head and brushed hair away from his face with a come-stained hand, but his eyes spelled hunger. ‘Let me clean that up for you.’

He did such a thorough cleaning that they ended up late to Christmas Dinner at Thorin and Bilbo’s and everyone _knew_ why.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin and Nori manage to get home after a somewhat awkward Christmas Dinner and Nori shares his surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is nothing but absolute and utter filth. SMUT AHOY!

There had been the expected eyerolls and a few digs after they’d finally managed to get to Thorin and Bilbo’s, but the most ribald comments had been left unsaid because of the children present, even if eyes and eyebrows had talked more clearly than anything.

Everybody knew.

Nori had taken it all in his stride, hadn't blushed at all and had even sat down without even the slightest flinch. If he hadn’t known better, Dwalin wouldn't have thought that he even possessed the capacity to blush, yet he'd observed Nori's full body flush when he felt really good, he just didn't do that in public.

The meal was delicious and the company merry. Despite the distractions all of Nori’s heated glances left Dwalin squirming, possibly blushing, his mind meandering and trying to come up with what might lie ahead. It would be good, that he was sure of, but the details were a mystery and a titillating surprise.

By the time they left for home he couldn’t look anyone in the eye.

They got home late and still full from all the food that had been consumed and delightfully buzzed. It was just the same sort of mood that had been integral in making of last year's inspired if slightly insane experimentation with the candy canes.

Despite everything, they made through the visit with most of their dignity intact. Bilbo sent them off with a wink and a selection of left-overs packet in plastic containers.

The car ride home was sweet torture with Nori’s hand on his thigh, not inching up, just being there, squeezing close to where Dwalin’s hard-on was straining against denim. It was incredibly reckless but then he’d not crashed the car the one and only time that Nori had sucked him off while he’d been driving… though that had been mostly through sheer dumb luck and on an empty country road in summer, not in town in winter. And Nori’s hand was just a hint and a promise, not a complete distraction.

Nori kissed him outside their door, pressing him against the wall, making Dwalin fumble and almost drop the keys. How they managed to get inside somehow and in one piece to boot would forever remain a mystery. Any other time he might have flinched away from Nori's cold hands under his shirt, but it merely ignited him, now. He decided that clothes were _very_ unnecessary and started pawing at Nori’s coat.

'Ready for dessert? ‘Nori purred against his neck, licking at his pulse, one hand moving down to cup his erection through Dwalin’s jeans, once both of their coats had been haphazardly draped in the coat-rack and boots hastily kicked off, knitwear in piles on the floor.

They were in the kitchen, where Dwalin had just managed to push closed the fridge door after depositing the given leftovers in, even if the chocolate cake would have been an inspired addition to the evening’s entertainment.

Dwalin squeezed Nori’s ass in retaliation, woefully denim-clad, feeling him shudder under his touch in the most delightful of ways despite it. 'Yes, please.'

'Hmm…’ Nori reached up on tiptoe to kiss him hungrily ‘…see you in the bedroom in ten.'

But Dwalin instead followed Nori into the bathroom and hampered whatever preparations he’d planned and they ended up in the bedroom together, half-dressed, damp and with minty fresh breaths, having touched and indulged until the hot water had run out.

Nori was absolutely gorgeous with his hair up in a messy bun once more, a robe artfully hanging off of one shoulder. 'You know,' he said as he pushed Dwalin down onto their bed, 'I had half a mind to plug myself, but you wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face, knowing.'

Dwalin reached for him before he could go get whatever secret surprise he’d planned for them. 'You're absolutely right, but it would have been worth it.' He squeezed Nori’s delightful handful.

Nori squirmed. 'Yeah?'

'Absolutely.' Dwalin squeezed Nori’s ass again for emphasis, shuddering at the thought himself.

'Duly noted.’ Nori kissed him, quick and promising. ‘Right, getting the thing now, make yourself comfortable.' He flowed away from the bed with a fluid, almost boneless grace that left Dwalin gasping.

The words were an easy enough instruction to follow and Dwalin finished drying himself off and then stretched on the bed, naked and ready, lazily touching himself while he waited, he hadn’t been told that he shouldn’t, after all.

Nori quickly re-appeared in the doorway, a box in his hands and a devilish grin on his face promising very good things, most likely debauchery, not that Dwalin had expected anything else. Nori strode to the foot of their bed, where he stood for a bit, shifting his weight from one side to the other, tapping at the wrapped box in his hands with his fingers.

Dwalin didn’t stop his lazy touching, but just looked at his husband, waiting, knowing for sure that it would be good. He shifted a little, following Nori’s eyes on him. Neither said anything and the only sound was the slick slide of Dwalin’s hand, the rustle of sheets as he shifted a little.

‘So,’ Nori finally said, having had enough of drawing things out and his fingers stopping their tapping, ‘the question now is: who will get to use it on who first?’

Dwalin’s ass clenched at the thought, at the clear implication of penetration, and he was quite sure about what sort of thing was inside the box, even when he might not have known the specifics. ‘Shouldn’t it be you?’

‘Should it?’ Nori countered, not committing one way or the other.

‘Was you last year.’ He gasped at the memory and squeezed at himself a little.

‘This is a whole new year, love.’ Those slim sinful fingers were busy tap-tapping again. ‘Are you saying you don’t like me fucking you…’

The implied question hung in the air between them.

Now, Dwalin wasn’t a size queen in the way that Nori was, but what his body could take without too much discomfort was not a small girth, regardless. ‘You know that I always like to have you fuck me. Just want to see what’s in the box before I commit.’ His voice was low and rough and his hand now slow and barely squeezing.

‘I have half a mind to blindfold you and have you find it out by feel, but that’s not what I’m after.’

‘Good.’

‘Well, all right,’ Nori said and finally scrambled up onto the bed, making the mattress jiggle some. He offered the box. ‘Here, open it.’

It was not too heavy and wrapped in the same wrapping paper they’d used for all of their gifts, and there was a bow on it, even. Dwalin made quick work of unwrapping while Nori sat across from him, his dressing gown not hiding his excitement at all the way he sat cross-legged. The box inside the wrappings was completely innocuous, black with no text.

They shared a look and Nori nodded, his face expectant.

Dwalin opened the lid and moved aside the tissue paper inside and… there it was, laying innocently inert upon purple and blue tissue paper: a dildo shaped and styled like a classical red and white-striped candy cane.

He was momentarily breathless. Nori _hadn’t_ forgotten, after all.

Nori picked it up, Dwalin’s eyes following the movement, admiring the flex of muscles in his forearms as he hefted it. ‘Do you like it?’

He considered the girth of it, it wasn’t bigger than what they normally used, and the head looked standard for a dildo, tapering to a rounded head. His ass clenched again. ‘Does it vibrate?’

Nori chuckled. ‘I knew you’d want it. And yes, yes it does.’

Dwalin had already moved to lie against the pillows and spread his legs in invitation, wanting to have that focus on him, Nori intent on pleasing him, bringing to the edge and then over, watching him with those intense eyes of his.

He made a disappointed noise when Nori set the dildo back in the box and moved it aside, but then Nori crawled between his legs and pressed all up against him and kissed him breathless. ‘I knew you’d like it. But you’ll have to promise to use it on me, too.’

‘If I’ll have the strength for it.’

Nori dragged his body against him so their hard cocks slid against each other. ‘I’m sure you _won’t_ leave me wanting.

‘I can always watch…’ Dwalin sighed, shifting up against Nori’s sinuous movements.

‘That’s true.’ Nori kissed him again, biting his lower lip as he withdrew. ‘Now lie back and let me take care of you.’

And he did, handling Dwalin’s ass like a thing that might break, taking forever in stretching him out.

Of course, Dwalin loved every single drawn out minute of it. There was nothing better than to be the focus of his husband’s attention and the recipient of his ministrations, allowed to just enjoy it all and give himself over.

‘Oh, you’re gorgeous, you are…’ Nori murmured against Dwalin’s thigh, three fingers in, ‘I might come just from seeing you enjoy yourself.’

Dwalin almost came then, at that mere image, of Nori watching him, using that fucking dildo on him and possibly making him beg. His cock leaked a little. ‘Please,’ was an easy, familiar word tumbling from his lips. He loved Nori’s fingers and his mouth, but if he was going to get fucked by the new toy, it had to be now and not later, not if he was expected to come with it in his ass.

Nori, being the little shit that he was, crooked his fingers inside him, pressing right against his prostate, making him squirm, gasp and grip the sheets like his life depended on it. If he hadn’t taken his mouth away, Dwalin would have been finished with that.

He was left empty and protested, as Nori withdrew to take hold of the dildo and coat it liberally with lube that smelled strongly of peppermint, bringing forth a sense-memory of last year. 

‘Legs up and hold your thighs open for me,’ was more suggestion than command and Nori’s voice was sultry and a little ragged.

Dwalin’s body took the dildo in a one nice and languid slide, the girth was not too much, his body so well prepared. He moaned at the fullness, the stretch.

‘Nice….’ Nori said, and then drew it out a little before pushing it back in. ‘Very. Festive.’

There was something Dwalin would have said to that but then Nori clicked on the vibration and there were no words and his world dissolved to moans and ragged breaths… until he didn’t think about much at all beyond _yes_ and _more_ and _faster_.

He came, quick and gasping, his mind whiting out at the intensity of it all; Nori’s encouraging words and the way he moved the dildo in him, switching the vibration from a low hum to a pulsing, relentless throbbing.

Perfect.

Dwalin’s body swam in a haze of contentment, mind absolutely blissed-out, only tethered by Nori’s touch, slowly coming back to him, feeling delightfully fucked-out.

‘Welcome back, love’ Nori said, bringing his hand to his lips for a chaste kiss to his knuckles.

He was still filled and stretched, but knew, even in his post-orgasm state that Nori hadn’t come, that he needed to come, that it was Dwalin who should give that release to him.

‘That was…’

‘Good?’ Nori asked even when it was clear that Dwalin was completely satisfied, had shattered and was only slowly coming back together.

Dwalin raised a floppy hand to cup the side of Nori’s face. ‘You need…’

‘I can wait.’

‘I can watch.’

The offer hung in the air and Dwalin squirmed a little, testing the responses of his body, because while he would be content to watch, there was nothing quite like being the one who put things into Nori’s body for him to enjoy.

‘But you’d rather use it on me yourself, right?’

‘This is why you’re my husband,’ Dwalin said, and if he was capable of that many words, he was more than ready to give Nori a good time himself, not that there was anything inherently _less_ in watching, which could be an absolute delight… especially when you only got to watch and struggle in your restraints.

There would be no restraints this time, only him, Nori and the wonders of their new candy cane dildo.

Nori pressed all along his side for a long time and kissed him deep and hungry until Dwalin was squirming with it, his arousal spiked even if his body was slower to follow. But it wasn’t always about him needing to get off, it was equally exciting to see Nori lose himself, to hear him and feel him.

‘Right then, husband,’ Nori finally said, raggedly breathless, an excited edge in his voice, ‘please.’

‘Plug,’ was all Dwalin could think to say before Nori could even shift away from him.

Nori pecked him quickly on the lips and leaned away with his eyes sparking, hands not able to resist (and why should they) running along Dwalin’s chest as he withdrew. ‘Of course, love.’

It was a moment’s work to find a desired plug from the bedside drawer, spread lube on it and slide it in to keep Dwalin stretched like he wanted to be after Nori had pulled the dildo out slow and steady.

Nori hadn’t said anything about him choosing the vibrating one beyond waggling his eyebrows, which was clear enough from him, really.

Then Nori showed his complete and utter ridiculousness by laying himself on the bed next to Dwalin, legs up and open, after handing the dildo to Dwalin. ‘Take me, I’m yours!’

Dwalin covered him with his body and kissed him, both of them giggling into it. ‘You’re ridiculous is what you are.’

‘You’ve never said you didn’t like it.’

Nori was willing and wanting and hard under Dwalin, who ached to please him the best he knew how.

Stretching wasn’t perfunctory, even if a little quicker than it might have been, but they’d let their hands wander enough in the shower and Nori’s body simply opened up for Dwalin’s careful fingering, easy as anything, as it always did.

Two of his wider fingers were enough where Dwalin had needed three of Nori’s, or so Nori claimed, fucking himself on them restlessly. A third was added and he keened, his back craning up a little, obscene encouragement spilling from his kiss-swollen lips.

In retaliation to his ridiculousness Dwalin started to push the candy cane dildo in with the vibration on, when he’d finally deemed Nori loose enough.

‘You…’ Nori gasped, his heels kicking against the bed, his face a flushed mess, his cock an angry red, the tip glistening. His hands were holding onto the iron bedframe, which made his torso look absolutely delectable.

Dwalin had to kiss that chest, which he did, once he had Nori filled and stretched around the toy.

Nori squirmed under him, one hand in Dwalin’s hair to keep him on in place to tease one of his nipples. His moans mixed with the steady low whirring hum of the lowest setting and Dwalin had a small regret that the dildo didn’t come with remote-control.

But something _did_ and Nori, devious thing that he was, pushed the control to max and made the plug inside Dwalin’s hole pulse with vengeance, leaving him gasping, cheek pressed against Nori’s chest as he gaped like a stranded fish. It was unexpected and intense and the reason he’d chosen that particular plug and he absolutely loved every moment of it.

He was not hard enough to fuck Nori instead or with the dildo but definitely getting there.

‘Maybe tomorrow you’ll fuck me with your cock _and_ our new lovely toy,’ Nori voiced Dwalin’s thoughts in a harsh whisper against his lips, which Dwalin only heard and was able to process as he’d dialled the pulsing in his ass down to a manageable level, a low thrum that didn’t demand all his attention.

Dwalin mashed their lips together in a messy kiss, gasping into it as a brief intense pulse inside him made his thoughts hazy for a heartbeat. ‘Consider it done.’

‘Definitely the best husband.’

Then Dwalin fucked Nori absolutely silly, the promise of tomorrow and the deliciousness of now spurring him on, listening to the music of Nori’s moans.

It was shaping up to be one of the best Christmases they’d had.


End file.
